


Mandy's College Semester

by REMBENERME321, VirginCala-Maria (REMBENERME321)



Category: DCU (Comics), I Am Not Starfire(Comics)
Genre: College, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Satire, Tags Contain Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:56:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28598817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/REMBENERME321/pseuds/REMBENERME321, https://archiveofourown.org/users/REMBENERME321/pseuds/VirginCala-Maria
Summary: Despite her best wishes, Mandy somehow gets accepted into college, more specifically, DC(Detective College) College. She reluctantly chooses to go anyways so her mom won't be pissed off. During her semester, she will encounter friends new and old, face many challenges, and suffer the consequences of being a cringey SJW bitch in a society that knows better.





	Mandy's College Semester

My name is Mandy, adn I Am Not my bimbo mom, Starfire. I hav LONG enoby black brades that compliment my DARK BLAPCK HArt. i also wear a hoodie one piece thing which is above mty charcoal black shirt and exposes my cleevage(thatll show the pariachy for not appreciating sexy plus size womans). I also wear black leggings and black combat boots. I aslo hav a nose piercing i got behind my mom(i told her it was a fgit from my not existsant friends) adn DARK BLACK maekup. I also dress in the dlakcest of black because im SUPER DARK AND EDGIE!!!11111!!!

I have no friends except ofr Lincoln(Call them they or ELSE) becuase i am totally opressed and im a loner edgy rebel chic. The patriarchy is aganst me and other LGBT peiple thats why im opressed and hate the world. I especially hate my Mom Starfire for giving in to the patriarchy's expectations for women and being thin slutty and sexy with an impossible body type no reel humen like me could achueve without starving myself fro months. I never even wanted to go to college i just wanna go too frans and continue being goffik.

Unfortunately that was what the patriarchy(AKA my skool) was going to maek me do. They had nearly all the sutdents enslaved in a desolate room where they wur forced to sit for hours and couldnt leave til skool wus out. I though _fuck that shit_ and tried to avoid going to the room. I was taking a massive dump in the toilets wheb i heard a voice.

"Who's in there?" It was... Mrs. Vitchusho (AKA Mrs. Bitchasshoe)!!!!1111!!! "No one should be using the bathroom this early in the tests."

I couldnt let her see me so i tried to crap harder and i unrolled the entire roll and got up but then the Mrs. Bitchasshoe opened the door!!!

"Mandy! What are you doing at the toilets so early? You should be in the test room doing the SAT! Today of all days is the least appropriate for this disobedient nonsense!!"

She was oppressing me for wanting to expres myself and i really wanted to cry and accuse her of raping me but she pulled me back into the room and tossed me in.

I was forced to take the test. I didnt want to take the test tho so i just clicked random answers until it said i was done and kept tpying nonsence on the keyboard until everyone else was done.

* * *

"Class dismissed!!" yelled Mrs. Sløtphese (AKA Mrs. Slutface) as everyone got out of there seats and left. I was trying to sit up when she walked up to me and blasted "Not you Mandy. We're gonna have a small talk about your behavior." Not this shit again. "The way you behaved today was especially poor even for _you_. You're coming with me and Isabelle(AKA Mrs. Bitchasshoe) to the office.

She led me down the hall to the office where she and Bitchasshoe talked to me about obedience and competence and other boring shit. Iwas barely paying attention and it lasted for 50,000 hours till they freed me from my shackles.

* * *

Once i was letted go they ahnded me a slip to give to my mom(not like i actually would). Basically it sed some shit about my behavior and how they saw me not giving a shit during the test and otehr shit and ended with the line " _she'd be lucky to get accepted into a community college_ " when i left the school i ran to the forest and burned the slip. Whne i left th forest i saw my only friend Lincoln turn to me and wave.

"Hi Mandy!" They cheered 

"Hi..." i goraned.

"Were you working hard today?"

"Yes..." i lied.

"I worked hard too. When i go to college, I'm going to work for a biology degree. It may be hard, but I'll work really hard at my job! What degree are you aiming for?"

"I hope to ain for a bachelor's degree in FUCK YOU to all my whores of teachers."

"Okay then, see you tomorrow!" They waved goodbye as they moved backwards and i waved back. They were the greatest friend an oppressed LGBT goff culd ask for(the fact that they were transrace[they're born white but wants to be black] also helped since i wouldn't feel like a hypocrite for hating white people).

* * *

Once i made it back home my thin slutty whore of a mom was in the kitchen cooking disgusting white people food as usual, and in absurdly small portions! How could she even eat like this? She was basically starcing herself for a temporary "ideal" figure. She noticed me open the door.

"How was the school, daughter?" She smiled "Did the SATS go well?"

"...Haven't got rezults yet." Was all i sed before i left so i could stop looking at her impossible figure. Why did that whore have to always fat shame me with her "ideal" beach body of a fugire? It wasn't like it was my choice to be fat or anything! Why couldn't she be more body positive and be fat like me?

"Mandy? Aren't you going to come eat the fo-"

*ding dong*

"I'll get it!"

I thought that wus her client for the nite until i heard her say "Mandy! Come here!" In an estatic tome.

I left my room and As I walked out, I haerd dem doing a convo, but i was to apathetic to give a shite. All of a sudden, she ran to me and hugged me, basically sufocating my sexy fat as she did so. I tried to shove that affection whore away until she moved away and i asked "What!?!"

"You...you... YOU'RE A SUPERHERO, MANDY!!!" She cheered retardedly.

A cis white MAN in a suit chuckled and said "*chuckle* what she meant to say was that you have been accepted into DC College!"

"Isn't it a bit too early though? She's still in school!" Starfire asked.

"Nonsense! It's basically Hogwarts but with Superheroes instead of Witchcraft, and no discrimination towards muggles. So, your daughter will be treated just as equally as her superhero classmates!"

"*Gasp* she would **love** that!!!" She turned to me her disgustingly cheerfull smile still on her barbie doll face and asked "How does that sound, sweetie?"

I would've decline by telling her to fuck off but I didn't want to hear her awful whiny bullshit crying so i jsut said "...good..."

"I'll go get your things, Mandy" Mom cheeered ni a disgusingly anoying way adn she left to go into my room. I really hated my slutty mom a lot so I would frequently write in my diary about how much of a skinny whore she was and rant about her always getting on my nerves and being a pain in teh asss. I always kept it looked so she would nevar open it.

Not like she would actually open it or anything; i awlays told her to not mess with my shit. That was why somethimes i keeped my dairy locked. Other times tho i just kept it unpocked with the key nearby tho i knew she would never be able to open it becaude she's a bimbo.

Anyways soon enough the prosistute came flew out of my room holding a whole bunch of my shit with the unlocked diary on top.

"Here's all the stuff you'll need for the college, duaghter." She cheered, i nearly cringed because she was such a prep.

I reluctantly grabbed my shit on top of a fuckton of low-portion luncahbles she added on that would only suply me for at moist a singal day in there. The man started his car and Mom tried to help but i sed i culd do it myself(AKA fuck off bitch) and stuffed eveything into the trunk. The man oppressed me yb taking a seat infront of mine in teh drivers seat and started the car and drove oof. I tried to flip my mom off for always being a whore but she turned and didn't see it.

* * *

As Starfire stood there, silently smiling and waving at her precious daughter as she faded into the distance, she consciously took notice of the chilly afternoon breeze. Once she was sure she was far enough to where she couldn't see, she turned around and grabbed her phone out of her pocket. She tapped one of her contacts and initiated a call.

...

After the call ended, Starfire shut off her phone with a smile. She was taking her first steps back into the house when she noticed something just a few feet away from the door: Mandy's Diary! _I can't leave this here!_ she thought as she ran over and bent down. Even from a standing position, she noticed that the pages it was on were filled with words. Normally, she would just ignore the writings she found, after all she didn't like invading her daughter's privacy, but at that moment she thought _"Hey, why not give it a little read?"_ that was a choice she would quickly regret.

_"Dear Diary,_

_I hate myfuckimg mom. She's a whore amd a slut with a impossiblely thin body type that makes me gag everytime i look at it. I could never achieve such a fatphobick body without starving myself. Not to mention, she always cooks disgusting white people food with no diversity. I can't beleieve how such a fatphobic, culturally narrowminded, slutty whore could be celebrated by so many. I hope she rots in hell when she dies for her blind support for the patriarchy._

_FML, Mandy."_

"*Gasp*!"

...

*THUD*!!!

The moment she stopped, she let the book fall from her hands and hit the ground. Once it hit the floor, she started to feel small teardrops form in her eyes, growing larger and falling from her face until... she broke...

"*sob*"

 _Did I do or say something wrong? I thought I was being the good parent. Then, what did I do to make,_ *sniff* _my own daughter hate me like this?_

**END OF PROLOGUE**

**Author's Note:**

> Mandy, our Heroine Ladies and Gentlemen!!!
> 
> But seriously, thank you for reading. Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. The true first chapter may take a while, since I'm still planning out the side characters and making future adjustments.


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